Archive for December, 2008

Damn you straight to hell! *shakes fist*

There I was, minding my own business perusing the aisles at Target, when your siren song called to me. There you were, beautifully displayed in a way that made me feel like I was at the beauty counter at Nordstrom. I did my best to walk away, after all, what kinda jackass spends $14 on an eyeliner at Target of all places, but I am weak and could not resist your charm. And, so, I became that jackass.

At first things looked promising- JK by Jemma Kid I-Conic eyes pencil liner. When I applied you to my sleepy, early morning eyes, you swept across my lids with a deep, rich black color that made me look wide awake. And the cap that doubles as a sharpener? Pure genius.

I looked fabulous as I sailed out the door at 8:30am, but if only I had known you would betray me so quickly. Upon arrival to the office, I was greeted at my cubicle by one of the many sexy boys I work with. There truly is no better way to start the day, than with a flirty exchange with a cute co-worker. After he left me to my work, I whipped out my compact to see how you were doing, expecting that a mere 45 minutes after application, you would look freshly applied. But the nightmare staring back at me told a much different story.

For in less than an hour, you had run all over the place, making me look like an escaped mental patient from the Shady Side asylum for the criminally insane and cosmetically challenged. And so, in one fell swoop, I managed to waste $14 of my hard earned money, AND I looked like even more of a jackass in front of the cute boy – a feat I am perfectly capable of without the help of crappy eyeliner, thank you.

And so, JK by Jemma Kid I-Conic eyes pencil liner, you FAIL! I may even go so far as to say you EPIC FAIL. Thanks for the fail, and please enjoy the car ride back to Target, where I will exchange you for something a little less dangerous, like a sharp object or an Ogilvie Home Perm kit.

Though I’m always on the prowl for fabulous new products, these MVPs have found a permanent place in my heart – as well as my make-up bag!

5. Lorac Glam Rocks loose metallic eye shadow:
This offers major shimmer, and because the shadow comes in the form of tiny beads, it’s easy to control how heavily it goes on.
Price: $16, but worth it considering I wear it nearly every day, have had the same pot for 5 months and still have over half my product left.

4. Duwop Lip Venom:It tingles, it plumps. It makes me look like someone punched me in the mouth – without actually getting punched in the mouth! What more can a girl ask for?
Price: $16

3. Benefit Bad Gal Lash Mascara:
This is hands down my favorite mascara. It lengthens, thickens and never ever clumps. Because it’s so rich, one coat is more than enough, but I generally go for two or three because it gives the appearance of fake lashes and I enjoy the extra drama.
Price: $19

2. Nars Blush in Oasis:
It’s pink, it’s sparkly, it’s so pretty it brings a tear to my eye. And it goes on sheer so I don’t look like the crazy old lady on the bus who wears way too much blush and carries 8 bags full of crap with her.
Price: $25

1. Benefit Playsticks Foundation:
This foundation is awesome. The coverage is great, but it’s not too heavy. It looks and feels natural, and the stick lasts me about 3 months. My color is Jumprope, a medium tan hue that that perfectly matches my not quite dark, not quite light olive complexion.
Price: $32

And there ya have it kids. Learn it. Know it. Live it.