Archive for January, 2009

Ok peeps, file this under the “it’s strange but it works” category.

Like any human being who likes stuff that tastes delicious, I think of Cool Whip as a tasty treat I put on my pie. And Jello. And sexy boys. Mmmm…wait, what? Oh, right, the story.

One thing that doesn’t come to mind when I think of Cool Whip is skin care. Which is why I laughed my ass off when I read an article in last months issue of Cosmo that suggested Cool Whip could double as a moisturizer. There was a scientific explanation to it all, something about how it contains sorbitol, which bonds water to the skin blah, blah, blah, but I still thought it sounded kind of stupid.



Well, desperate times call for desperate measures, and I had one of those desperate times last night when I realized I was out of my Shiseido moisturizer. It was particularly alarming because nighttime is particularly freezing ass cold round’ these parts, which dries my skin out like a slab of sandpaper.

After frantically trying to scrape the remnants from the bottom of my empty container, I remembered the tub of Cool Whip sitting in my freezer and decided to give it a whirl. I felt kinda stupid at first, slathering Cool Whip all over my face, arms and legs. After all, that’s the type of thing one only does when there’s someone else on hand to aide with the removal of said Cool Whip (he he!) but for the sake of science – and my skin – I had to do it.

And lo and behold…it totally worked. It did make my skin just a tad sticky because obviously it has sugar in it, but it was barely noticeable. And I could feel the Cool Whip working on my face. And that is a weird sentence I just typed.

All jokes aside, this is a pretty genius idea. Not something I would use on a daily basis, but as an emergency fix it’s a total win.

Neutrogena Wave Power Cleanser – ZOMG I freakin’ love this thing!

I made this purchase on a whim during an emergency trip to Rite-Aid a few nights ago. Lemme tell ya, nothing is more alarming to a curly haired girl than realizing she’s out of hair gel at 6:45pm on a Sunday night.

So as I hastily made my way to the register, the Neutrogena display caught my eye, and I remembered the commercial I had seen for this cleansing device earlier in the day. Ah yes, there really is nothing like the lovely Vanessa Hudgens splashing water on her young little face, promising that I too can look fresh and perky. Oh Vanessa, I know I shouldn’t believe you. After all, I’m 28 and the crows feet have already started to invade the space around my eyes, but you are so sincere that I simply cannot say no. Well played Vanessa, well played.



I then picked up the $15 face cleansing apparatus and placed it in my basket. I figure it’s a small price to pay anyway, considering I got the device, the cleansing pads and a battery. BTW – I have to give props to Neutrogena on that one, cuz nothing annoys me more than getting a new product home and realizing I’m out of batteries.

Anywho, upon using the pint sized face blaster looking thing, I was pleasantly surprised by how good it felt on my skin – like a gentle facial massage. And the textured pads get rid of make-up and exfoliate, so by the time I was done my skin was clean and silky smooth. My only issue is the pads are a little small so I need to use two of them, but it’s totally worth it considering a box of 30 is only about $8.00. I also suggest using a seperate eye make-up remover as you don’t want this around your eyes. Even still, I’ve found my new favorite cleanser.

Final Verdict – WIN. Go get it!

Mascara is the most important tool in my arsenal of beauty-fication, so when my friend suggested I do a drug store mascara smackdown, I was more than up for the task. After all, it is mascara that makes it possible for me to look bright-eyed and rested after a night of drinking. Er, knitting. Er, bible study. Ya, that’s it, bible study!

So in the name of science, I threw on my white lab coat and tested out the newest mascaras to hit the drugstore shelves. And by lab coat, I mean my pink Supergirl pajamas. So after hours of painstaking research and wine guzzling sipping, I present you with my findings:



Cover Girl Exact Eye Lights: This mascara made my lashes look reeeally pretty, though it failed to make my eyes look 4x brighter as promised in the ads. It comes in four shades, each infused with tiny flecks of glitter designed to match your eye color and bring out the sparkle. I initially bought the formula for brown eyes – black with an opalescent shimmer- and was so pleased I bought all the other colors as well. Though I use them all, the blue eye formula is my favorite, as the sapphire color looks amazing when the sunlight hits your face! Grade: A-

L’Oreal Double Extend Beauty Tubes: Love.This.Stuff. It makes my lashes look insanely full and long, with no running or smearing. It’s also way cheaper than the other fiber mascaras, which do pretty much the same thing for twice the price. I don’t particularly love the fact that there’s two steps involved in this mascara-fying process, but the results are totally worth it. Though if you’re gonna re-apply during the day, only apply the second coat, NOT the base coat. I made this mistake and my lashes got all clumpy and stuck together. It was not hot. Grade: A

Revlon Luxurious Lengths: This is good mascara – providing length and a decent amount of volume- but I wouldn’t call it a must have. Though I do like the smooth texture, which leaves my lashes feeling soft and silky, I can get the same result from something cheaper like Great Lash. Grade: B-


Maybelline Lash Stiletto: This cleverly named mascara promises to deliver “provocative length” thanks to it’s elastic formula. And that it did. My lashes looked longer than I had ever seen them, and I really like the black patent finish, which is really different – and very sexy! It doesn’t do much in the way of volume though, so if you’re looking for lush, thick lashes it’s not gonna happen with this one. Grade: A-

And there ya have it kids! Learn it. Know it. Live it.

Several of my lovely readers were kind enough to send me this link, and as your humble servant of make-up and make-up accessories I feel it is my civic duty to pass this on.

From January 20 (wait, what the hell day is it today?) until January 27, department stores like Macy’s, Nordstrom and a bunch more will be giving out free make-up! Yes, I said free bitches!

I could bore you with all the details as to how this came about, but I’ll sum it up instead. Mainly because I don’t want to bore myself with the details either, I just want the free stuff! Basically, someone sued a bunch of retailers and now they have to give out $175 million worth of free cosmetics. Anyone who purchased items from the companies listed in the suit between May 29, 1994 and July 16, 2003 is entitled to the afore mentioned free stuff; and best of all you don’t have to provide proof of purchase.

Now before you go running to the make-up counter jumping up and down like a school girl and shouting gimmie, gimmie, just know everyone is limited to ONE item, and there is a list of specific things to chose from. So far I’ve peeped everything from mascara and foundation to moisturizer and body wash. And it’s full size product too, not those crappy free samples that give you just enough lipstick to do your top lip.

The make-up is being distributed on a first come, first served basis and once they run out you’re outta luck, so I suggest you head to your nearest participating store like, now! And best believe I will be taking full advantage of this tomorrow during my lunch break! Just pray you ain’t the poor bitch who ends up in front of me in line right when Lancome is running out of mascara though, cuz you may just get punched in the face son!

Ok, what are you waiting for? Go, go go!

***For a complete list of stores, and the products you can score, check out this link: http://www.cosmeticssettlement.com/

Because as I sit here in my chair, all full of Betty Crocker Warm Delights brownies and booze, you get to walk around looking like that. And it’s just not fair damn it! *shakes fist*



Whew, ok, now that my moment of haterism has past, I pose the question – could Megan Fox have looked any more stunning at the Golden Globes? From the dress to the face to the hair, the girl was just head to toe perfection. I especially love her make-up because it’s all out glam, but not overdone. And since this is a look I use often when going out, here’s a few tips on how to create the look yourself:

Face: The golden, healthy glow makes skin look radiant and fresh, but it’s a tough look to achieve with most bronzers. So instead, try mixing a liquid face highlighter like Benefit MoonBeam into your regular foundation before you apply it. Just a touch though, as the key to this look is understated drama.

Cheeks: This is where your bronzer will come in handy, as just a light swipe across the cheekbones will give a touch of color and sparkle. Hoola bronzing powder, also by Benefit is my personal fave.

Eyes: This step is where I have the most fun! Start by applying a matte white eye shadow over the entire lid. I say matte because the rest of the look is really shimmery, and we don’t wanna over do it. Next, sweep Nars eye shadow in Goldfinger across the eyelids. Then, dip a smudger eye shadow brush into a Sephora Brand Glitter Pot in Gold, and draw a thick line along the base of your upper and lower lashes. Make sure to dust off the excess by blowing on the brush after dipping, so you don‘t overdo it on the glitter. Finish with a very thin line of black liquid eyeliner along the top lash line, and two coats of black mascara.

Lips: Line your lips with a very subtle rosy shade like Maybelline Line Stylist lip liner in Plum, and fill lips in with the same color. Then swipe on a thin coat of Sephora Ultra Shine lip gloss in Gold, and viola

Hair: If you’re going somewhere fancy and you really wanna complete the look, apply a light spritz of Sephora Brand Gold Glitter Spray just to the hairline, as you can see on the lovely Megan.

And there ya have it kids! Learn it, know it, live it!