Archive for the ‘Wierd Stuff’ Category
First came Hello Kitty. Then came Pochacco. And now we have…Inappropriate Bondage Kitty.
My fabulous friend Sarah, aka Sparkly Devil emailed this promo for the Mac Hello Kitty line to me today. And to be quite honest, my brain is still trying to process what I just saw.
Allow me to give you a rundown of the odd things happening in said promo, so it will be easier for you to comprehend what the hell is going on when you watch the ad, which I have posted below. The premise is some kind of Alice in Wonderland meets Hello Kitty meets the Casual Encounters section of Craigslist nightmare. Only, instead of “casual encounters,” it’s more like terrifying encounters. And there’s a cat involved.
So, here’s the rundown:
Around 1:30, Pink Girly Kitty crawls into what looks like a giant vagina made of tulle. As she makes her way into the valley of fabric and lady parts, the accompanying music is beckoning her to “come inside.” Huh, I wonder what they mean by that? *scratches head*
At 2:15, she enters a dark world of fail, and encounters Creepy Latex Kitty, who is surrounded by a bunch of bondage dudes with latex pants and giant Hello Kitty heads.
By 2:35, bondage dudes have surrounded Pink Girly Kitty, and are doing some sort of wierd tribal dance whilst feeling her up.
3:08, more bondage dudes show up, and Latex Kitty starts riding them around like horses. Which isn’t that strange, considering that’s what I do everytime I go to Sanrio – but then the other bondage dudes start throwing Pink Girly Kitty around like a rag doll. And the situation just got serious.
3:58, Pink Girly Kitty wakes up, and realizes her trip to crazy vagina latex world was just a dream. Thank god, cuz seriously, that was some effed’ up shit.
Now that you all understand my bewilderment, let us never speak of this again.
I’m going to go pray now, because I’m scared. Yay as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil. But I shall fear the creepy Hello Kitty bondage dudes, because the thought of someone being twisted enough to come up with that makes me a litte uneasy.
Someone hold me.
Ok peeps, file this under the “it’s strange but it works” category.
Like any human being who likes stuff that tastes delicious, I think of Cool Whip as a tasty treat I put on my pie. And Jello. And sexy boys. Mmmm…wait, what? Oh, right, the story.
One thing that doesn’t come to mind when I think of Cool Whip is skin care. Which is why I laughed my ass off when I read an article in last months issue of Cosmo that suggested Cool Whip could double as a moisturizer. There was a scientific explanation to it all, something about how it contains sorbitol, which bonds water to the skin blah, blah, blah, but I still thought it sounded kind of stupid.
Well, desperate times call for desperate measures, and I had one of those desperate times last night when I realized I was out of my Shiseido moisturizer. It was particularly alarming because nighttime is particularly freezing ass cold round’ these parts, which dries my skin out like a slab of sandpaper.
After frantically trying to scrape the remnants from the bottom of my empty container, I remembered the tub of Cool Whip sitting in my freezer and decided to give it a whirl. I felt kinda stupid at first, slathering Cool Whip all over my face, arms and legs. After all, that’s the type of thing one only does when there’s someone else on hand to aide with the removal of said Cool Whip (he he!) but for the sake of science – and my skin – I had to do it.
And lo and behold…it totally worked. It did make my skin just a tad sticky because obviously it has sugar in it, but it was barely noticeable. And I could feel the Cool Whip working on my face. And that is a weird sentence I just typed.
All jokes aside, this is a pretty genius idea. Not something I would use on a daily basis, but as an emergency fix it’s a total win.